I intimidate people. I have been working here for years. I know everything!
Corporate Negotiator.
Introduction
Negotiators will invariably encounter negotiators who believe they “Know-It-All*” or perceived to know-it-all.** Research shows that 30% of negotiations involve negotiators who think they know more than what they do. Effective negotiators will first be self-aware so they do not fall into this category. Secondly, effective negotiators need to recognize this phenomenon and manage it.
Dictionary.com: The word ultracrepidarian comes from the Latin phrase ultrā crepidam, which means "above the sole, beyond the sole." The phrase is made up of the adverb ultrā and the Latin word crepidam, which means "sole of a shoe, shoe, sandal." The word ultracrepidarian is an adjective that means someone who criticizes, judges, or gives advice outside their area of expertise. It can also be used as a noun to describe someone who has these characteristics. The word was first recorded in 1800–20.
An effective negotiator realizes that they do not know everything. They are realistic. They have humility. They also realize that other negotiators are not omniscient.
What is an effective negotiator?
An effective negotiator uses critical thinking skills in determining whether:
Other negotiators are negotiating in good faith,
What they are saying is true,
Other negotiators are credible and trustworthy, and
They have accomplished their preparation and planning.
Effective negotiators must watch out for “Know-it-alls.”
I am rich. I know everything! Ultracrepidarianism**
Effective negotiators note this phenomenon. A person excels in one area and most would agree that they do. But then they puff up and begin to give their expertise on everything.
]First: Effective Negotiators need to be Self-Aware. They need to know keenly their knowledge base, their area of expertise, and to know when to do the necessary research and preparation.
Second: Effective Negotiators need to watch out for attributing knowledge and expertise to those they like or admire; otherwise known as The Halo Effect.”
Step One: Assume All People Are Just About Average
A wise assumption is that most people are “just about average.” This means if a person excels in one area, they probably don’t in others.
For example: Former US President Bill Clinton, Political Genius, but Weaknesses?
According to NY Magazine:
That Bill Clinton is a political savant, possessed both of rare oratorical gifts and granular insight of the electoral arts, is an oft-repeated fact…The idea that Bill Clinton possesses unique political talent has been disseminated both by Clinton and his enemies for years. It appeals to both of them, for different reasons.
Clinton made big mistakes as a partisan--two in particular. First, he contrived a national health insurance scheme…Congress was not much involved in the design or political management of his plan. Worse, Clinton bungled the interest-group and popular politics of health reform. The managed competition scheme was complex, and it did not fire the public imagination. Politically, Clinton hoped to make a deal with the big employers and insurance companies, but this proved naïve. In the end, both turned on him--and he didn't have public opinion on his side as a counterweight.
Also, according to the American Prospect:
Worse still, Clinton spent what remained of his political capital in 1993-1994, to ram the NAFTA deal through Congress... It badly split the Democrats, and it was not even wise geopolitics. In the end, Clinton got NAFTA enacted with heavy Republican support, dispiriting his own party. Republicans took control of Congress in the 1994 midterm elections, and Clinton deserves some of the blame.
Clinton seemed to have lacked collaboration skills in preparation for both health reform and NAFTA.
Beyond this, Clinton has had major personal issues of fidelity and loyalty that interfered in his professional life even leading to impeachment.
Former President Ronald Reagan is a Great Orator but Weaknesses?
Most people recognize that Reagan has superlative communication skills especially giving speeches. At the same time, he did not seem overall to be a savvy politician:
His hands off leadership style led to such fiascos as the Iran Contra scandal.
His view of crime seems to have been that people “choose” crime, not understanding the underlying issues.
He slashed the education budget.
On the environment, he claimed trees cause more pollution than cars.
So, a very wise assumption is that most people are equal. They excel in one area and perform poorly in another.
Step Two: Assume People are Not That Discerning If They Admire Someone.
Example: Bill Maher of Real Time highly admires Elon Musk. Maher was so grateful that Musk appeared on his show Real Time, that the interview was fawning and not insightful.
Example: There are lots of folks who admire Beyonce and Taylor Swift. Amazingly, 25% of the folks interviewed claimed that they would be more likely to vote for a Presidential Candidate if endorsed by either of them.
Step Three: Effective Negotiators have humility.
Humility is the antidote to the know-it-all approach. Humility adds character, often looking out for the common good.
Philippians 2:3: Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility, value others above yourself.
Negotiation often revolves around teamwork instead of competition. To be a team player, negotiators must learn how to listen, to summarize, to be creative, to be open to other ideas and perspectives. Humility opens the door to being curious and further knowledge.
Those with humility are:
Less aggressive
Less judgmental
Open minded
Seeks feedback,
Questions assumptions and beliefs
Not easily manipulated.
According to Positive Psychology:
But humility has nothing to do with meekness or weakness. And neither does it mean being self-effacing or submissive. Humility is an attitude of spiritual modesty that comes from understanding our place in the larger order of things. It entails not taking our desires, successes, or failings too seriously.
In the past decade in particular, psychologists have rediscovered the importance of humility. They have established fascinating links between humility and our ability to learn and be effective leaders, and our readiness to engage in prosocial behavior.
Adopting a more humble mindset increases our overall psychological wellbeing and ensures our social functioning.
Open ChatAI Advice on Negotiating with Negotiators who Believe They Know It All.
Negotiating with someone who is a "know-it-all" can be challenging, but there are strategies you can employ to effectively manage the situation. Here are some steps to consider:
1. Preparation
Know Your Facts: Ensure you have done thorough research and have strong evidence to support your position.
Understand Their Perspective: Try to understand their viewpoint and gather information on what they might bring up during the negotiation.
2. Building Rapport
Show Respect: Even if you disagree with them, show respect for their knowledge and opinions. Acknowledge their expertise where appropriate.
Find Common Ground: Identify areas of agreement and build on them to create a more collaborative atmosphere.
3. Communication Techniques
Listen Actively: Let them talk and express their viewpoints fully. This can help defuse their need to dominate the conversation and give you insights into their thought process.
Ask Questions: Use open-ended questions to encourage them to explain their reasoning. This can help expose any flaws in their arguments without directly confronting them.
Use "I" Statements: Frame your points from your perspective to avoid sounding confrontational (e.g., "I understand your point, but I see it differently because...").
4. Presenting Your Case
Use Data and Facts: Back up your points with solid evidence. Know-it-alls respect well-substantiated arguments.
Be Confident but Not Arrogant: Present your case confidently, but avoid coming across as arrogant or dismissive of their ideas.
5. Managing Conflict
Stay Calm and Patient: Keep your emotions in check. Getting frustrated can escalate the situation.
Redirect the Conversation: If they start to dominate the conversation, gently steer it back on track by summarizing key points and refocusing on the negotiation objectives.
6. Finding Solutions
Collaborative Problem Solving: Frame the negotiation as a problem-solving exercise where both parties need to contribute to finding a solution.
Offer Alternatives: Present multiple options to show flexibility and willingness to find a mutually beneficial outcome.
7. Closing the Negotiation
Summarize Agreements: Clearly summarize what has been agreed upon to ensure mutual understanding.
Follow-Up: After the negotiation, follow up with a written summary of the agreements to prevent any misunderstandings.
A few celebrity examples: It is estimated that 30% of the time, one is negotiating with a Know-It-All. These celebrities below are negotiating daily.
Mayor Eric Adams: 63 year-old Adams (net worth $9M) has been mayor since 2022. He is a former police officer and form State Senator (2007-2013) and was educated at the New York Police Academy (1984). There is no denying that Adams has knowledge about policing and NYC politics. The Daily Show in their Showography 2024 spoofed him as the King Philosopher since he seems to be an all around expert and possibly has found “the answers to life.” His controversial claim that “immigrants are excellent swimmers” and could solve the East Coast lifeguard issue reveals his weaknesses. His “Droopy Pants Kill” campaign during his Senate term makes one wonder about his critical thinking skills.
Kansas City Chiefs Harrison Butker: Butker’s net worth is $5M with a $3.5M salary along with endorsements, so his football kicking expertise is clear. Why would Benedictine College, in Missouri, choose his to be their commencement speaker? He was divisive, not unifying. He evidently believes women should be homemakers and that being other than straight is “a deadly sin.” Surely he revealed his weaknesses, so maybe sticking to his football expertise is a wise approach?
UCLA Economist Scott Galloway (SG): Both Joe Scarborough and Bill Maher feature him on their shows, seemingly because of his economic expertise. His recent book is The Algebra of Wealth. In this book, he gives a lot of economic advice which many would consider to be common sense, but then he moves from economic expertise to sociological issues:
He advises young folks to focus on their talent, not their passion.
He talks of Stoicism; that is, follow logic rather than emotions.
SG appeared as a Guest on Real Time, Bill Maher, 4/26/24
Young men are in trouble. They do not want sex or children or family. They simply want their phones. Young men are not economically viable.
19 year olds should be allowed to be stupid and behave stupidly. This is what we expect. We expect them to drink and make bad decisions.
These statements may be wise but they are surely outside economic expertise.
Oprah Winfrey: Oprah Winfrey (OW) is a 70 year-old multi-media mogul, talk show host, actress, producer, and philanthropist with a 2.8B net worth. She hosted her Academy Awarded show for 25 years.
Most would agree that OW is a fantastic talk show host. Her show progressed through three stages:
Stage One: Show focused on scandals a la the Phil Donahue Show or Dr. Phil.
Stage Two: Comprehensive shows on movies, books, events so that one hour was very focused.
Stage Three: Lessons of Life with OW serving as a kind of Life Guru.
So as Oprah became richer and more powerful, she began to exude that she had found life answers. During that time, she was even recommended to be President. Her endorsement of former President Barak Obama was a key to his successful election. Her lukewarm endorsement of former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton may have affected her loss. (OW advised her followers: Hold your nose and vote for Hillary.)
Taylor Swift: Swift is one of the world's best-selling artists, with 200 million records sold worldwide as of 2019. She is the most-streamed artist on Spotify, the highest-grossing female touring act, and the first billionaire with music as the main source of income. Seven of her albums have opened with over one million sales in a week. The 2023 Time Person of the Year, Swift has appeared on lists such as Rolling Stone's 100 Greatest Songwriters of All Time….Wikipedia.
Most would agree Swift is a brilliant lyricist, storyteller, singer and performer. She most likely belongs in the rock pantheon. She is now a billionaire. But does she have expertise on social issues or politics? Probably not, but about 20% of those voters interviewed declared they would be more likely than not to vote for the Presidential Candidate if Swift endorsed.
Elon Musk: Elon Musk, born in Pretoria, South Africa, is one of the most successful entrepreneurs of all time. Musk has achieved global fame as the chief executive officer (CEO) of electric automobile maker Tesla (TSLA) and the private space company SpaceX. Musk was an early investor in several tech companies, and in October 2022, he completed a deal to take X (formerly Twitter) private...Investopedia.com
So, Musk is an astute scientist and business person, but does he have to speak out politically?
According to CNN:
In the contentious interview, Musk equated moderating dangerous and appalling hate speech to “censorship,” bashed the press for legitimate reporting, assailed DEI programs without supporting evidence, skewered advertisers who fled the X platform last year and yet again gave credence to the racist Great Replacement theory, among other things.
To those not fluent in the intricacies of right-wing media, some of what Musk said may have sounded bizarre or even foreign. But in the right-wing fever swamps, where Musk is now deeply entrenched, these are the issues that animate the masses.
Musk’s comments on the premiere episode of Lemon’s new online show added to an unhinged 72-hour posting spree on X, in which the erratic businessman raged against the “woke mind virus” and said its “goal” is “the destruction of America,” … called NPR a “nice version of Pravda,” alleged Google “manipulate[s] their search results with left wing bias,” said the January 6 insurrection was “not a ‘bloodbath’ by any definition….”
Musk has become also controversial in the LGBTQ+ world as he tweets/mocks the use of pronouns.
Attorneys: Attorneys often behave or are perceived to know “all” about the law. The reality is that most attorneys specialize in a certain area and most likely don’t know much more than the average person about certain legal issues. For example, a patent attorney probably is not cognizant about criminal law.
According to the American Bar Association,
2% of attorneys work for education.
4%, nonprofit
10%, government.
Only 51% of attorneys actually work for a law firm and less than 10% are involved in litigation. One observer expressed surprise that a DC based attorney did not know about Louisiana law. While every other state uses Common Law, derived from English law, Louisiana uses French Civil Law, which is derived from the Napoleonic Code. Wikipedia. This is most likely not taught in most law schools.
TV Morning Joe: Joe Scarborough has been a successful politician since 1994 and successful TV broadcaster since 2003. During these time periods, oddly the non-attorneys deferred to Joe when it came to legal issues.
This is surely off base when in reality Joe only practiced law for a few years after his graduation from University of Florida Law School in 1991 and before he was elected in 1994.
On his show Morning Show, many people believe Joe is “a blowhard” in the same vein as Radio Host Rush Limbaugh. He has strong opinions on most issues including his opines on such topics as how to live longer. He usually lectures. He often interrupts his co-host, wife and guests. His question is usually preceded by a full paragraph lecture.
He always claims that he has been right even though he was not. He never admits mistakes even though most believe that Morning Joe contributed to the election of President Trump giving him lots of free publicity. Heretofore, MJ had the rule of politicians running for office that for them to speak they must be face to face, but they gave an exception to phone calls from Trump. MJ gave this exception because each time Trump called in, ratings would skyrocket. His power most likely emanates from his show’s popularity, being a millionaire, lookism (6’3”, fairly handsome, great hair)
Conclusion: So, this Know-It-All phenomenon most likely will occur in 30% of the negotiations, whether it be with the key negotiators or someone else involved in the negotiation. “Effective Negotiators” are self-aware. They know what expertise they may have and when to seek other resources. They have humility. They also know that they will be negotiating with Know-It-All Negotiators so they know how to manage them.
Example Scenario
Let's say you are negotiating a project timeline with a colleague who thinks they know everything about project management. Here’s how you might apply the above strategies:
1. Preparation: Gather data on project timelines from similar past projects.
2. Building Rapport: Start the conversation by acknowledging their expertise in project management.
3. Communication Techniques: Ask them about their previous experiences and how they handled similar projects.
4. Presenting Your Case: Present your data on typical project timelines and explain why you believe a different timeline might be more realistic.
5. Managing Conflict: If they become defensive, remain calm and reiterate that your goal is to ensure the project’s success.
6. Finding Solutions: Suggest a phased approach where you can review the timeline periodically and make adjustments as needed.
7. Closing the Negotiation: Summarize the agreed-upon timeline and next steps, and follow up with an email outlining the discussion.
By employing these strategies, you can navigate negotiations with a know-it-all more effectively and work towards a mutually beneficial outcome.
*This concept is related to Illusory Superiority (IL). IL is the concept where people believe they are more talented in some sphere than what they are. This is so common that Cornell Professor David Dunning believes that about 1/3 of white collar workers are afflicted by IL. He has found this less so in the hard skill careers such as electricity, woodworking, or handyperson. Often professionals will believe they are great supervisors or ideal leaders or perfect bosses. When their supervisees are interviewed, not so much.
Example: One District of Columbia Restauranteur ran a successful restaurant for ten years and decided to retire. Instead of selling the restaurant, she decided to close it thinking nobody could run the restaurant in the stellar way she had!
** Closely aligned to the Know-it-all complex is the halo effect. The halo effect is a cognitive bias that occurs when an initial positive judgment about a person unconsciously colors the perception of the individual as a whole.
When forming a first impression, observing an initial attractive feature—perhaps beauty or strength—can make the person appealing, making it difficult to revise that impression based on new or opposing information. For example, an attractive individual may also be perceived as interesting, ambitious, or funny, whether or not that assessment is warranted.
Resources:
See Recommended Books under “Blogs” drop down menu.
Roy J. Lewicki is the author of 'Essentials of Negotiation', published 2015 under ISBN 9780077862466 and ISBN 0077862465. Publisher: McGraw Hill Higher Education
The Conflict Resolution Training Program, Leader’s Manual, ISBN: 0-7879-6077-2. Prudence Bowman Kestner and Larry Ray
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