On December 17, 2024, Leadership Academy Professor Henry Stanford hosted and Professor Robert McManus (RM) interviewed Larry Ray (LR), national expert on negotiation. Ray teaches negotiation at The George Washington University School of Law and Capital University (Ohio) School of Law. He also teaches Leadership at the AMA (American Management Association-NYC).
RM: How do you think negotiation skills contribute to effective leadership?
LR: Leaders are actually negotiating 50% of their waking lives. They may not note or recognize it as such. They may simply call it communicating, or meeting. Even then they are creating a vision statement or list of values or mergers or expansions or five year plans, they are negotiating. One must wonder if they are negotiating this much, why are they not better at it? One reason may be that they do not recognize negotiation as an art requiring studying and learning. Many leaders assume that negotiation occurs only when there is face-to-face contact while discussing a contract or agreement. But, negotiation may begin at the first point of contact, maybe a phone call, text message, or email.
Further, leaders should note the issues of Illusory Superiority and Incompetence. Dr. David Dunning of Cornell University has accomplished much study on these two topics. Research shows that approximately 30% of leaders are afflicted with Illusory Superiority aka the Lake Wobegon effect; that is, leaders believe they are better at negotiation than what they are.
The remedy? Humility. Leaders need to check with their trusted peers to assess their negotiation skills. Often they will discover their negotiation skills need work.
Leaders may also discover that 18% of them are incompetent in their present job. (Note, the research is focusing on the present job not the leader.) The incompetent leader may not even have the competence to recognize their low skill level. If they had the wherewithal, they also would seek feedback.
RM: Why is it essential to follow structured stages in negotiation, and how might skipping a stage impact the outcome?
LR: It does not matter how many stages there are. What is important is that communication proceeds in a negotiation in a logical fashion that is most likely to lead to resolution. So, planning becomes Stage One. Then Introduction=Stage Two, where all negotiators introduce themselves. Ground rules and guidelines are set and goals are broadly defined. Stage Three allows all parties to state their facts and perspectives. Stage Four outlines the issues to be discussed and possibly the priorities of these issues. Stage Five focuses on creative options and selection of those options. Finally, Stage Six the agreement or settlement.
This is goal-oriented negotiation, not win/win, not win/lose, etc. Negotiation is considered an art, not a game.
Some folks view negotiation as splitting the pie. In goal negotiation, there is no pie. Instead, there is a focus on accomplishing goals.
Remember that old quote from Maslow: If your only tool is a hammer, everything looks like a nail. Effective negotiators have a very active negotiation toolbox.
RM: What are some examples of how creativity with options and alternatives can influence the success of a negotiation?
LR: Creativity is one of the key behaviors of an effective negotiator. An effective negotiator during the planning stage creates “options” for each negotiation issue and also creates “alternatives” in case the negotiation does not succeed. Creating options and alternatives gives the negotiator power. BATNA stands for the best alternative to a negotiated agreement and WATNA, the worst.
Adults need to relearn creativity. There was a NASA study outlining how children are super creative and then institutions such as schools erode that skill.
RM: How can negotiators ensure they remain ethical and trustworthy?
LR: A study by Professor Gerald Williams of Brigham Young University shows that effective negotiators have two vital characteristics: ethical and trustworthy. Both of these equate to honesty.
It is challenging. People in the negotiation arena must uncouple open and honest. Being honest is part of the negotiator’s character. What they say, people can depend on.
Distinguishable is being open about information. This is strategic. Effective negotiators expect information for each piece of information that they give. Quid pro quo, so to speak. Effective negotiators would enjoy a completely open negotiation but there must be the exchange of information.
RM: Considering that 90% of persuasion attempts fail, how can negotiators adapt their approach to balancing emotions, values, and logic?
LR: The major reason that persuasion fails is that the average persuader is really trying to persuade themselves.
A more effective way is for the persuader to put themselves in the shoes of the person to whom they want to persuade. What is their goal? What is their approach? What would persuade them? Many people ask WIIFM (What Is In It For Me)? How will this help me or my business?
In the recent Netflix movie Carry On the main character wants a raise. He informs his supervisor that his wife is pregnant demanding more funds. The boss is not impressed. Finally, the main character puts himself in the shoes of the boss and describes how he can streamline the process. The boss then can see what’s in it for him.
RM: What do you think makes "disagreeing without being disagreeable" such a valuable skill in negotiation?
LR: The Negotiation Behaviors Research accomplished by Professor Roy Lewicki of The Ohio State University School of Business outlines fifteen behaviors of effective negotiators. One of these is “behavior labeling.” It is a great skill; that is, to name what communication is going to be before it happens.
Let me summarize.
Let me make three points.
Let me ask a question.
This behavior captures their attention and they respond more effectively.
The one time behavior labeling does not work is "Let me disagree." Instead, if one presents a perspective or an idea to which another cannot agree, they need to first listen, then summarize. A few minutes later, they can offer another more workable idea. This works. One is able to get the alternative, maybe more workable option on the table without irritating folks.
Generally, effective negotiators want their negotiating partner to at least like them if not trust them. Then, they can be more persuasive. The Harvard University Program on Negotiation sponsors a book called The Power of Nice. Effective negotiators are goal oriented. They can be civil and nice and yet still accomplish the goals. Remember, civility is not a sign of weakness, according to former President John F. Kennedy (JFK)
RM: After a negotiation concludes, what are the most critical factors to evaluate to determine its success?
LR: Next comes the post negotiation phase; that is, the evaluation. After the negotiation, it is often heard from one of the parties: I felt really good about this negotiation or I felt really bad about the negotiation. Feelings are important and should not be ignored. First, examine the agreement. Did the agreement fulfillment the negotiation goals or may exceed such? If so, then success. Second, examine the feelings of each negotiator. Maybe they feel they could have done better. If so, discern what could have made the negotiation better and incorporate that into the next negotiation.
RM: How can individuals improve their negotiation skills and practice before they are in a formal negotiation situation?
LR: In most cases and for most people, practice equals a better negotiator. So, possibly frame more transactions into negotiations whether that be at the pharmacy, grocery, community, church, staff meetings, performance plans, annual planning, HOA (homeownership association meetings), etc.
Resources:
To access the Zoom Podcast, go to,
“Lessons in Leadership” library online under “Past Webinar.”
To access the PowerPoint Leadership Slides, go to,
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